


Not Like This

by IDontWannaGo



Series: Not Like This [2]
Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers - Freeform, Depression, Dissociation, Drugs, Heroin, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Past Rape/Non-con, Poor Peter Parker, References to Drugs, Self-Harm, Smoking, Suicidal Peter Parker, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Underage Smoking, spiderman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-01-15 16:05:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18502348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IDontWannaGo/pseuds/IDontWannaGo
Summary: Peter Parker needs help. Can Tony give it to him, along with the rest of the Avengers, or will they fail, and have to watch Peter break gradually, day after day. AU where Peter's backstory is different, and the Avengers are only just finding out about the boy's past. Whump/Angst. Please read the warnings in the Author's Note at the start of the chapter.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so yeah, I changed Pete's backstory here, just because I wanted more angst basically. THIS STORY CONTAINS SUBSTANCE ABUSE, UNDERAGE DRINKING AND SMOKING, DOMESTIC ABUSE, SELF HARM, MENTAL ILLNESS, SUICIDAL TENDENCIES AND BAD LANGUAGE. IF ANY OF THIS TRIGGERS YOU IN ANY WAY, PLEASE DO NOT READ. THERE WILL BE A WARNING BEFORE EACH CHAPTER IF IT CONTAINS ANY OF THESE THINGS. THERE WILL BE REFERENCES TO ALL OF THESE THINGS IN CHAPTERS THAT MAY NOT BE FOREWARNED. IF ANY OF THESE THINGS HAPPEN FIRST HAND IN THIS STORY, OR ARE GRAPHIC, THERE WILL BE A WARNING. ONCE AGAIN, DO NOT READ IF THIS TRIGGERS OR AFFECTS YOU IN ANY WAY.

Today was a good day. Peter was sat in the Avenger's living space, biting down on his pen lid as he stared at the history essay in front of him. Bucky, Sam and Clint were having a Mario Cart tournament, and Clint was losing horrifically. Wanda and Vision were cuddling on the sofa opposite Peter, watching the game play, and Natasha, Scott and Rhodey were talking in depth about their last mission, which surprise surprise, Peter was not allowed to go on. Still biting his pen, he stared over to the kitchenette where Thor, Loki and Bruce were chatting, having only arrived back from Asgard a few weeks ago. He scrunched his nose, as he tried to remember the exact date that Washington stepped down from being president.

"Careful son, or your face'll get stuck like that." Steve's voice called out, as he entered with Tony and Pepper. Peter laughed and went back to his essay.

"Watcha writing?" Tony inquired, peering over the youngster's shoulders. "You take History?"

"It was either this or Economics," Peter sighed, closing his pen. "And I hate Economics, so..." He gestured at the paper.

"I don't know if you're aware, but Steve and I know quite a bit about history." Bucky said, lounging back in his seat.

"I thing it's a bit before your time to be honest." Natasha said, walking over, and looking at Peter's paper.

"How before?" Steve asked

"Like a century and a half." Peter said, dumping his stuff on the coffee table.

"Ah, yes I guess that is a bit before our time." Steve laughed, and everyone else joined in. It really was a good day.

Walking over to Bucky, Steve sat down next to him and pressed into his side; Bucky's arm automatically went around him. "Aw look, aren't you two sweet," Natasha's voice called out. "How's my favourite couple getting along?"

"They're your favourite? What about me and Pep?" Tony asked, wrapping an arm around his fiancé's waist. The assassin merely raised an eyebrow, and everyone went back to discussing Steve and Bucky. Peter smiled, and fingered the sleeve of his shirt, enjoying being in the presence of his idols.

The next day was pretty much the same as the last, except Peter didn't have any homework, so he just sat on the sofa, leg bouncing up and down, frequently looking towards his watch. Everyone was still in the living space situated at Stark Towers, not really doing anything important. The last mission was a big one, so it was decided that the Avengers could take a couple weeks off.

Peter noticed one of his pens had rolled under the coffee table from yesterday, so he reached down to pick it up. His hand was shaking however, and it slipped from his hands. He started fumbling for it, and he felt his head crack against the underneath of the table. With a cry of pain, he sat up, and saw Sam reaching down, and he picked up the pen before handing it to Peter. "Thanks." He muttered, face turning red, and he sat back down on the sofa.

"You okay Pete? You seem... twitchier than usual." Tony asked, taking a sip of coffee.

"Y-yeah I'm good," Peter replied, brushing his fringe out his eyes. "I, er, actually have to get going."

"Get going where?" Scott asked.

"Work." He said, standing up, and getting ready to leave.

"You have a job?" Wanda asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah, just at a Deli near the flat."

A thought crossed Ton's mind, and he smiled. "Can you eat in the store?"

"Um, yeah, they have a seating area near the counter."

"Well, it is nearly lunchtime-"

"No!" Peter said loudly, resulting in several amused smirks.

"You're not ashamed of us are you, Крошечный паук?" Natasha asked, sitting up straight.

"Of course not!"

"Then what's the problem?" Bruce asked.

"Nothing, I guess." Peter said.

"Great, then let's go." Tony stood up, and clapped a hand on Peter's shoulder. Mentally screaming, Spidey sighed. This was not going to be a good day.

Steve frowned in distaste as they approached the Deli. "This is where you work?"

"Yeah," Peter replied. "I know it doesn't look like much, but Mr Delmar's cool." The Avengers followed him inside, and once they were all inside, the door swung closed behind them.

"Oy! ¿Dónde has estado entonces?" A loud voice called out. Looking over to the counter, the Avengers saw a man throw an towel down onto the table, before coming out to whack Peter on the head gently.

"Lo siento mucho, señor Delmar, surgieron algunas cosas." Peter replied.

"Algunas cosas," Mr Delmar scoffed. "What kind of things take two weeks?"

"Private things?" Peter offered meekly.

"Hijo de un- Okay, just get back there, Jesucristo"

Peter laughed, and picked up an apron that was hanging behind the counter. He put it on and walked into the kitchen. "Hey, and you're delivering today, así que no hay negocio divertido, ¿de acuerdo?"

"Cosa segura" Came Peter's voice.

"Pequeña mierda." Mr Delmar finally noticed the Avengers standing awkwardly in the doorway. "Take a seat, I'll be with you in a moment." They all sat down after pulling several smaller tables together to make one large one. There were no other customers in the shop. "What can I get you?" He asked in a slightly accented voice. They all scanned the board on the wall, and one by one placed their orders. "So how do you know Pete?" Mr Delmar asked, thrusting the piece of paper with the orders written on it at a young man in the kitchen.

The Avengers all glanced at one another, until Tony cleared his throat. "Pete's my intern at Stark Industries. He helps out a lot, and you know the kid, worms his way into everyone's hearts." The rest of the group nodded, and smiled at Mr Delmar.

"Pete!" He suddenly yelled, and Peter stuck his head round the doorframe.

"¿Sí?" He asked, wide eyed.

"Delivery for you to take, y date prisa, no tenemos todo el día." Peter walked up, and grabbed the bag of food, whilst taking off his apron. "Hey, and make sure they actually pay this time, no giving away food for free."

"They were hungry! And it was only one time." The kid protested, stopping with his hand on the door handle.

"Yeah, well next you feel like being a maldito santo time pay for it out your own pocket."

"Yeah, yeah." Peter waved his hand, smiled at the Avengers, and left.

"Pequeña mierda." Mr Delmar muttered again.

There was an awkward silence after that, followed by Scott clearing his throat. "So how do you know Peter? You seem close."

"Oh, I've known the Parkers for years. Miguel!" The young man from earlier stuck his head out. "Haven't I known the Parkers for years?"

"Sí." He said simply, before disappearing back into the kitchen.

"Yeah, the pequeña mierda used to steal from me, naughty, naughty boy." He continued. "Of course, when his Aunt found out, she made him come and work for me in penance. He's long since paid his debt, but Pete's a good worker, so I kept him on." There was another silence that followed this declaration.

"Are- are you saying that Peter used to steal from you?" Rhodey asked.

"Yep. He comes from a poor family, so I guess they had to find some way to make ends meet." Once again, the Avengers were silent as they processed this new information. "Did you not know this already?"

"No..." Clint muttered. "No we didn't."

After a while, once their food had arrived, Pepper spoke up. "I never learnt Spanish, so what does pequeña mierda mean? You've said it a lot, so it like a nickname, or..." She trailed off.

"It means 'little shit'." Mr Delmar replied, wiping down the counter.

"Oh." Pepper replied quietly, earning a snort from Tony. She elbowed him in the ribs.

"Hey, so when you say Pete comes from a poor family, what exactly did you mean? I know he and his Aunt aren't exactly well off, but I wouldn't call them 'poor'." Tony said, taking a large bite of his sandwich. A few crumbs flew out his mouth, and everyone winced internally. Except for Clint and Scott, who were used to mess.

"You should have seen them a few years ago. May was working a crappy job which didn't really pay, and they could barely afford the necessities. Now she works three jobs. Peter's had a hard life with everything that's gone on."

"Yes, with his parents and uncle dying, right?" Wanda asked.

"And his brother and sister."

"What?" Came the startled reaction of everyone around the table.

"His brother and sister?" Bruce asked, brows furrowed.

"Yeah. He had an older brother, Mark, who died when Peter was six. Mark was twelve. And he had a twin sister, Ava, who died when they were both seven."

"How did they die?" Vision asked. He had taken a human form to be less obvious.

"I'm not sure how Mark died, but Ava died in the same crash that killed Peter's parents. The four of them were on a plane, but something went wrong. Pete was the only survivor." Mr Delmar had sat down with the Avengers as he said this.

"God." Bucky muttered. It was in no way comparable to what had happened to him, but still. "God." He said again.

"To be fair, he didn't really have a good relationship with his parents."

"How so?" Thor asked, in a booming voice.

"Oh no," Mr Delmar said, standing up. "I don't know the details, just bits and pieces, but it's really not for me to say."

They were about to protest, when Peter walked in, delivery bag still in hand. He grinned at his family, and then placed the bag on the counter. "What's this?" Mr Delmar asked, eyeing Peter up and down.

"I know what you're going to say-" Peter started. His Boss's mouth opened, but he cut him off. "But there was no-one in, or at least if there was, they didn't answer, so I left a note for them to come pick it up if they wanted it."

Mr Delmar opened his mouth, and then closed it again. "Just get in the kitchen." He finally said quietly. "Pequeña mierda."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers find out more about their young friend.

Today wasn't the best day. It was around midday, when Peter heard a knock on the front door. Looking behind him quickly, he went to open the door a crack, and peered out. "Hey!" He said in surprise, and he opened the door a tiny bit more, not enough however, for the Avengers who were in the hallway could see inside. "What're you all doing here?"

"We came to see your Aunt." Loki said stiffly. He didn't talk all that often Peter found, but when he did he could be quite scathing. Peter liked him in a way.

"Oh, she's not here." Peter said, leaning against the doorframe slightly.

"She's not?" Tony asked. The Spiderling shook his head. "Where is she then?"

"Out shopping I think." He paused. "We need milk." There was silence after this unnecessary piece of information was added.

"Well can we come in and wait, Крошечный паук?" Natasha asked, leaning forward slightly, and looking him directly in the eye.

"Erm…" He started, before glancing behind him. "Well-"

"You haven't got a girl in there have you son?" Steve joked.

"Technically, yes, but-"

"What?" Boomed Thor. "We must meet this lover of yours Son of Spiders!"

"No, she's not-" Peter started, but Thor pushed past him, and froze once he was inside. The rest of the Avengers did the same. "Guys…" Peter said, walking into the middle of the room. "This is my cousin Lily." A small girl was sitting in front of a bookcase, holding a Black Widow plushie of all things. Lily hid behind a curtain of brown curly hair, and peered at them intently.

"Hello." She said brightly, brushing her hair out of her face, the same way Peter did with his fringe. When her eyes settled on Natasha, Lily let out a small gasp, glanced down at the doll in her hand, then back up at Natasha again. "Woah." She muttered.

"Hi Lily," Wanda said, walking over to her. She gestured for Nat to come closer, and the red head did so. "That's a nice doll you have there."

"It's Black Widow," Lily said, still staring at Natasha. "You're awesome!" Nat noticed that the young girl had a slight lisp.

"Well thank you Lily!" Natasha said. "How old are you?"

"I am six years old." She recited with a grin. Peter ushered them all into chairs, and they all sat down, including Wanda and Nat.

"How come you didn't tell us you had a cousin?" Sam asked, glancing at Lily, who went to lean against Peter's leg.

"It didn't come up." Peter shrugged.

Apparently neither did the fact that you're a fucking twin, Tony thought viciously. Pepper must have guessed what he was thinking, as she placed a hand on his knee comfortingly.

"So what did you want to talk to May about?" Peter asked nervously, sitting down.

"Oh, nothing important," Rhodey said with a wave of his hand. "Just need her to sign a few papers that lets you come on more missions with us."

"What missions?" Lily asked, still snuggling Peter's leg.

"Awesome ones." Bruce winked at her. Lily giggled.

"So does that really require all of you?" Peter asked, still clearly nervous.

"Wel-" Steve started, but he was quickly cut off by Scott.

"Oh yes, we're all very close. Isn't that right honey?" He turned to Clint.

"It really is darlin'." Clint pecked Scott on the cheek, and Scott returned the favour. They proceeded to hold hands, and stare intently at Peter, who couldn't help himself from laughing. Lily suddenly stood up, and started to wander off.

"Lily, stay out of my room," Peter called out as she disappeared around a corner. "Lily I mean it, wait- sorry." He muttered, as he jogged into his room, returning a few seconds later with Lily.

"But you have cool things in there!" She protested bitterly.

"Yes, cool things that you're likely to try and eat, just like you did with those marbles last week."

"They looked like jelly beans!"

Peter gaped, as he curled up in an armchair, and she sat back on the floor. "They're spherical, how the hell do they look like jelly beans?"

"I dunno, you tell me." Lily muttered. The Avengers all laughed. They made light conversation for a while, until Lily started to giggle.

"Lily…" Peter started, but her laughing got louder.

"How's Liiizzzz?" She asked cheekily, drawing out the girl's name.

"What?" Peter asked, heat rising in his cheeks. The rest of the group all smirked, curious to find out who this Liz was.

"'Hey Pete, are we still on for six? Love, Liz, kiss kiss'" Lily read out from Peter's phone, that he had dumbly left on the table.

"Huh?" He asked, and grabbed the phone out of her hands. "Lily, this message is five months old."

"I liked Liz, she was my favourite of all your girlfriends." Natasha choked down a laugh, at the look on Peter's face.

"Okay, one, Liz was my only girlfriend, and two, she wasn't even my girlfriend. We just went out a couple of times."

"I heard you talking to Ned about her! You said she was cute, and-"

"Oh, woah, Lily, look what time it is!" Peter showed her his watch.

"What time?"

"Time for you to go to bed." He lifted her over his shoulder, and she shrieked with laughter. As he started to take her to her room, she whacked his head a few times.

"No, no, no bedtime isn't until seven on weekends, Mommy says so!"

Peter lifted her so that she face facing him. "You're going to stop torturing me?" Lily nodded, giggling. "Okay then." He put her down gently.

"I'm bored!" She said loudly. Peter sighed, and sat back down, glaring at the Avenger's amused faces.

"Why don't you call Tanya or something?" He suggested.

"Why don't you fuck off?" She said quietly.

"Lily!" Peter yelled, and Clint, Scott, Sam and Tony, doubled up in laughter.

"What? I heard you yell it to Mommy a few years ago." Peter made an exasperated sound, as the laughter died down in the room. "I'm gonna go call Tanya."

"Bye Lily." Peter rolled his eyes. She picked up the handheld landline, and rushed into her room.

"She's sweet." Natasha said, glancing at the doll of her on the floor.

"She's also desperate for attention." Peter sighed, tiredly.

"Is she smart? She seems smart for her age. She reads and speaks almost perfectly." Tony asked.

"You can't go recruiting Lily at her age Tony." Pepper said, laughing slightly.

"Yes, she's smart," Peter laughed too. "Almost too smart. She can be a right pain."

"But you love her." Vision said unusually gentle.

The boy smiled. "Yeah, I do."

They carried on talking for a while longer, until the front door swung open. May walked in, and screamed slightly at the sight of everyone. "Jesus Christ," she said, putting a hand to her heart. She picked up the groceries that had fallen when she walked in.

"May, the Avengers are here." Peter said, absently picking at the skin around his nails.

"Yes I see that thank you dear." May said laughing.

"Hello May," Pepper said, standing up to give the woman a hug. "It's been a while."

"Yes it has! It's great to see you Pepper."

"Mommy!" Came a shriek from another room. Lily flung herself at her mother.

"Hey babe," May said, kissing the girl on the top of her head. "Was she well behaved?" She asked Peter.

"Meglio del solito, in realtà." Peter said in rapid Italian.

"How many languages do you speak child?" Loki asked frowning at Peter.

"Erm, six I think. English, Spanish, Italian, German, Mandarin and French." He counted them off on his fingers.

"Why?" Rhodey asked.

Peter shrugged. "I was bored."

"Anyway haven't you got to go? Aren't you meeting Ned and MJ?" May asked.

"Yes I am. I'll see you all later." Peter put on a blue hoodie. "Bye."

"Wait, can you take Lily?" May grabbed her nephew's shoulder.

"Are you serious?"

"Deadly." She stared him in the eye.

"But all we'll be doing is playing video games!"

"Then teach Lily how to play."

"Per il bene del cazzo." Peter ushered Lily into her coat, and led her outside.

"And don't swear!" Tony called out, face serious.

"You speak Italian?" May inquired, sitting down in the chair Peter had been sitting in.

"You had another nephew?" Tony stared her down.

May didn't speak for a while, but stood up, and poured each Avenger a glass of wine. When she settled back down, she spoke. "How did you-?"

"Mr Delmar." Bucky said simply.

"Of course." She sighed. "Son of a bitch. You know about my niece too presumably?"

"Yes," Natasha said gently. "We just want to know what happened."

"Mark was murdered." May said bluntly. She downed her wine in one. "By Peter's parents."

There was a heavy silence that followed, until Rhodey asked, "Why did they kill him?"

"I really don't think I should be the one to tell you this. Peter hasn't even told me everything, so I don't want to misinterpret the little that he has said."

"We can't help him until you help us May." Wanda said.

May hesitated, before walking over to the mantlepiece and removing a photo that had been placed face down. Silently, she passed it around the group. It showed a man and woman behind three children two boys, and one girl, the boy on the left far taller than the one on the right. The boy on the right, who looked no older than five, had a large bruise covering the left side of his forehead. It was clearly Peter.

"This was taken a few months before Mark was killed." May spoke in a husky voice. She pointed at the taller of the two boys. "I should have- I should have realised what was going on. I could have prevented everything that happened if I had just read the signs."

"And what was going on?" Thor asked.

"Peter… Peter's different. And I guess his parents didn't like that, so they…" She gulped. "They… experimented on him." May whispered the last part. "He was born a mutant or something, or a mutate I don't know, but he didn't have powers. He said something about his DNA being more susceptible to gaining abilities. It wasn't human DNA, if you know what I mean."

"Did Pete tell you this?" Tony asked, swallowing bile that rose in his throat.

"Yes. But, now, I guess, looking back, I don't think it was just for science."

"What do you mean?" Bruce asked.

"I mean, his parents didn't like him. I vaguely know why, but if you want to know more, you'll have to ask Peter."

"But how does this link to Mark?" inquired Clint.

"Richard and Mary- my brother and sister-in-law- wanted to replicate Pete's DNA and put it in someone else. Mark didn't survive their tests." May spoke angrily, almost spitting the words out. She visibly sagged. "But after Ben's death… Peter was never the same."

"Well he was grieving." Scott pointed out.

"He became depressed." She said. "It got so bad, that he- he started-" May broke down in sobs. Pepper got up and put an arm around her. "He started harming himself." There was a collective gasp at this. "And he- he tried to kill himself ."

"Oh my god." Steve muttered.

"How did he try to… you know." Sam asked. May looked at him strangely.

"The first time he-" she hiccuped. "He tried to overdose on the medication he was given for his anxiety. The second time, he slit his wrists, and barely pulled through. And the third time…" She trailed off for a few seconds. "I had to talk him down from the roof." Her eyes glazed over, and she glanced down at her lap. "He still has scars on his arms. Apparently they'll probably take decades to fade, if they do at all."

"May…" Tony said. "I am so sorry." He reached over and placed a hand on hers. "Truly sorry."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter confides in his family.

Not even gonna talk about whether today was good or not. Once again, Tony, Pepper, Steve, Bucky, Vision, Wanda, Clint, Natasha, Sam, Thor, Loki, Scott, Rhodey and Bruce were gathered in the living quarters, only this time Peter wasn't with them yet. They were all sitting around drinking coffee, sweet tea and hot chocolate, whilst the fire burnt wildly beside them.

"I'm just saying, we musn't bombard him with questions. That'll just make him shut down, and he won't talk to us." Steve said, clearly frustrated for whatever reason.

"Well I'm just saying, let's get Wanda to find out what he's hiding. It'll be easier, won't it!" Tony yelled, throwing his hands in the air. There were mixed responses to this, most of them outraged, but some clearly thought it was a good idea.

"What the fuck Tony, you seriously want Wanda to invade the kid's mind?" Clint demanded. "That's a breach of his civil rights, even if he is just a minor!"

"It would be easier." Bucky muttered. It hurt him to admit it, but he needed to know what was going on, so that he could help Peter, even if it meant breaking their trust. He said as much.

"Really Buck?" Steve asked, betrayal shining in his eyes. He let go of Bucky's hand and moved over to where Bruce was standing.

"Did anyone think to ask Wanda what she thought of the plan?" Vision asked, glancing around at all of them.

"Yeah, what does Wanda think?" Tony said, turning on the young woman.

"Well, Wanda thinks you're all being dumb." Wanda said, fists clenching. "Peter is like a little brother to me Tony and I will not infiltrate his mind just to satisfy your thirst for knowledge!"

"My thirst for-" Tony cut himself off, at the sight of one Peter Parker standing in the elevator.

"What was that about 'infiltrating my mind'?" He asked, eyes cold.

"Peter-"

"You were seriously going to get Wanda to- to brainwash me into telling you what's wrong with me? What the fuck?!"

"Peter!" Tony said, but louder. "No-one was going to brainwash you, I just thought-"

"You just thought huh?"

"What Tony is trying to say son, is that-" Steve started, but was swiftly stopped.

"I don't give a shit what he was trying to say!" His voice was low, and he spoke slowly, looking at each Avenger in turn.

"You're being a bit hasty there, Pete, why don't you just dial it back a bit, and let us explain." Natasha tried to calm the boy down. Peter's breathing started to slow back down, and humiliation at his outburst sank in. He never was one to stay angry for long.

"Explain then." They all sat around the kitchen table, and over the course of ten minutes, recapped everything they'd learnt about Peter over the last few days. When they finished, Peter stared at them, with big, sad eyes. His lower lip trembled slightly, but he bit it, and picked nervously at the skin around his nails. "D-did May tell you about any of-um- any of the other stuff I did?"

The Avengers all glanced at one another. "No… is there anything else?" Sam asked. Peter nodded jerkily. "Can you tell us what?"

haking his head discreetly, as if trying to clear his thoughts. "You already know that w-we didn't have much money in the last few years, and Lily couldn't eat solid foods until recently, s-so I would go into shops and steal stuff."

"Yeah, Mr Delmar mentioned that." Rhodey said.

"Did he? Good, that takes a bit of the pressure off I guess." Peter laughed shakily. "It just really... hurts thinking about all the stuff that I did over the last few years."

"You only stole to survive, Pete, we get that." Scott said. "I was a thief too, you know."

"You were?"

"Yeah… got divorced with my wife, lost custody of my kid, lost my job, went to jail. It really sucks."

"Y-yeah it does."

"What about your parents, young Starkson?" Thor asked, voice quieter than usual.

"Starks- okay…" Peter frowned. He took a deep breath. "It's easier to just say it right? Right. Okay… Well, er, Ava and I were born over a month early, which is one of the reasons why I'm much smaller than other kids my age. The thing was, it caused my Mom to have a terrible pregnancy, and it hurt her a lot more going into labour. This already caused some distance between me and my parents, not so much Ava though. At least my parents got her vaccinated. When we were around a year old, I got a bad case of the flu, so my parents took me to the doctor for some tests. They found out that my cells were different, but Ava and Mark's weren't. Dad was furious when he found out apparently, so he… he started locking me away. I basically grew up in the dark, and they would only let me out when we had guests, or when they were shipping me over to Ben and May's." His breath hitched when he said Ben's name, but they chose to ignore it. "When I was three, they started… doing stuff.

"They would strap me to this, um, table? Or gurney like thing? And would s-slice my skin to get samples of my DNA. Without anaesthesia. I can't really remember everything they did over the years, but I do remember the… the pain. When they weren't experimenting, they wouldn't feed me properly, and I remember my Dad basically kicking and beating the shit out of me every night. Ava and Mark would try to stand up for me, but that would just result in them getting hurt too, so I made them stop defending me. When they tried to replicate my DNA and put it in Mark, I can just remember him screaming for hours on end… he wasn't used to it like I was. Eventually, the screaming just stopped, and I knew it was over.

"Then they wanted us to go to Canada to visit some lab over there or something, so they hired a private plane. Only, somehow the wing got damaged in flight, and we were suddenly falling, I don't know how I survived." There were tears running down Peter's cheeks at this point. "The one- one thing I properly remember about the crash is dr-dragging myself over to where Ava was laying, and hol-holding her hand as she died. It was like a piece of me had died too."

There was silence once Peter had finished. Wanda was crying as well, and she reached over to grab Peter's hand. As she held it, the sleeve rolled up slightly, and you could vaguely see the scars that tainted his body. He sniffed, and wiped his spare arm across his face before pulling away from Wanda. "Kid, why didn't you tell us?" Tony asked, placing a hand on the teen's shoulder. He tried to ignore the way Peter flinched at the touch. It was something he had never noticed before, how Peter seemed to tense at any contact he didn't initiate.

"I didn't think you'd care." He muttered.

"Pete-"

"Are we done? I feel like we're done."

"Yeah kid. We're done."

"What do we do now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? What do you mean nothing?"

"Everything that happened to the kid is in the past. What are we expected to do?"

"You saw firsthand how much it hurt Peter to talk about it. He was fucking crying."

"Only because we were bringing up bad memories."

"But do you think he ever got proper therapy for what happened?"

"May said he was given some medication."

"Being chucked some pills doesn't magically make problems go away. It helps to talk about these things."

"And he did. With us."

"You really are a heartless bastard, aren't you."

Peter stopped listening after that. It wasn't like he could make out who was saying what, even with advanced hearing.

Why not just ask me if I want fucking help or not? Peter's brain was going non-stop, and it hurt to even think. You'd think that after their conversation the day before, things would have calmed down a bit. Apparently not. Groaning slightly, he got up from where he was crouched, and started texting Ned to see if he wanted to come to the tower, before remembering that his best friend was grounded. He deleted the message, and chucked the phone on his bed, only to have it bounce off and hit the wooden floor with a crack. Peter picked it up and sighed as he saw that the already-cracked-screen was now even worse off. But by some miracle it still worked. So much for the Typical Parker Luck. He heard a knock on his bedroom door, and he opened it to see Tony standing there with two mugs of hot chocolate.

"Can I come in?" He asked, eyeing the disheveled boy who stood in front of him.

"Only if one of those mugs is for me." Tony handed him a mug, and sat down next to Peter on his bed.

"So how're you doing?"

"Better than yesterday. Today's an okay day." Peter took a sip of his drink, relishing in the taste that flooded his mouth.

"I'm glad." Tony drank some of his own drink, before slapping the kid on the back as he was drinking it, resulting in some hot chocolate going up his nose. "Whoops, sorry Underoos." He apologised with amusement in his voice. "We're having a movie night downstairs if you wanna come?"

Peter stared at his mentor. "Mr Stark, it's eleven am!"

"So?"

"How can it be a movie night?"

"Ah," Tony stroked his beard thoughtfully. "You see this is why you're the smart one. I hadn't thought of that. Come on, we're watching some Robin Williams."

"For real?"

"Sì, per davvero, ora vieni al piano di sotto e mangia un po 'di cibo molto malsano e guarda alcuni dei migliori film che ci sono."

"I keep forgetting you speak Italian."

"Well I do, now get your ass down those stairs and watch a perfectly respectable man dress up as a woman in order to pleasure his family."

"That sounds so wrong out of context."

"I know right?"

"I'm just saying, there has to be a reason that her grandmother just turned up randomly, out of nowhere," Clint complained. They had moved on from Mrs Doubtfire to The Princess Diaries, per Pepper and Wanda's popular request.

"Why don't we just watch the movie and find out." Sam said.

"Pass the popcorn." Bucky said to Falcon.

"No." Sam replied, shoving some popcorn in his mouth.

"Hey Sam, can I have some?" Steve asked grinning.

"Yeah, sure man." Sam said passing the bowl to his friend.

"I hate you." Bucky muttered, stealing some of Steve's popcorn.

"Sorry, what was that? I can't hear you over the blossoming friendship I have with your boyfriend."

"Oh look, movie, lovely movie, let's all watch the lovely movie." Natasha said, trying to get her friends and co-workers to be quiet.

They sat in content silence (bar the occasional comment from Clint or Tony or Scott, or the petty squabbles between Sam and Bucky) for the rest of the movie, and then carried on watching movies until Pepper announced that they should probably get some dinner, it being seven pm and all.

"But we have popcorn." Scott complained.

"Why don't we order in?" Tony suggested. "It's a lot less work."

"No, I am craving some proper food, and I swear Tony, out down that phone or I'll smash it." Pepper threatened.

"I agree with Pepper, let's have some proper food." Bruce said, standing up and stretching.

"Great! I'll make us some lasagna." Pepper started walking into the kitchen.

"I'll help." Peter offered, following her.

When they finished, everyone was sitting at the table, watching Sam and Clint try to beat each other in arm wrestling. Placing the food down on the table, Pepper and Peter sat down to watch the competition. Eventually, after neither of them won after three minutes, Natasha stood up and demanded she and Sam swap seats. Clint visibly began to sweat as Nat sat opposite him and placed her arm ready.

"Erm, I'm good." He muttered.

"Scared Barton?" Bucky asked, smirking.

"No! Not at all, just don't want to embarrass Romanoff here, especially after what happened in Budapest." Natasha smiled eerily as Clint placed his hand in hers. Rhodey placed a hand over theirs, and counted down. On one, Natasha immediately forced Clint's hand down on the table, with such force, Peter wouldn't be surprised if Hawkeye's scream could be heard on all the lower levels.

"Ow." He whimpered.

"Grub's up bitches." Scott said serving himself some of Pepper and Pete's lasagna.

"Damn that was good." Tony muttered as he sat back in his seat after finishing his serving.

"All down to Peter! All I did was grate some cheese and chop some tomatoes for the salad."

"You're exaggerating." Peter blushed, looking down at his empty plate.

"I'm really not."

"How did you learn to cook so well mortal? I was not aware this was something midgardian teenagers spent their time practising!" Thor asked in his echoing voice.

"It's not normally I guess," Pete rubbed the back of his neck. "I dunno, Lily has always been really fussy about what she eats, and we didn't really have much to cook with that wasn't mouldy, so…"

"You learnt to improvise?" Suggested Vision.

"Exactly!" Peter smiled at him warmly.

"Ah yes, Loki too was a fussy eater growing up. I recall one time, when…" Peter zoned out of Thor's story. Not that he wasn't interested, more that he was distracted. He was concerned about May. The thoughts and feelings that had arisen from talking about his past were bad enough for him, so he dreaded to think about how May was feeling.

"Peter? Pete?" He snapped back into reality upon hearing his name be called.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"I was just wondering whether you want to head back to Queens or stay here for the night?" Tony asked looking at him with concern.

"Um, yeah, I'll probably head back now it that's okay."

"Of course it is!"

"Okay then, I'll see you in a while then."

"Bye Pete."

"Happy'll be waiting with a car outside. Say hello to May and Lily for us!"

"I will… bye."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: CONTAINS 'GRAPHIC' MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, AND SELF HARM. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF IT TRIGGERS OR AFFECTS YOU IN ANY WAY.

Today was actually a good day.

"I have genuinely never hated anything more in my entire life."

"Come on MJ, where's your sense of adventure?" Ned asked, grabbing a few chips and popping them in his mouth.

"This is not an adventure, this is you somehow convincing me that watching you two idiots play video games would be fun." Michelle leant back in her chair.

"You had fun the other day." Peter pointed out, cursing under his breath as he died once again.

"The other day, your adorable cousin was with us, and I like kids, so…" She shrugged, and picked a handful of chips out the bowl.

"I already told you, Lily's out ice skating with a group of her friends and their chaperones." Peter said, eyes locked on the screen in front of him.

"How come you're not stuck babysitting?" Ned inquired.

"May had the day off, and insisted that I relax, instead of her," Peter glanced over at his friends. "Not that this is very relaxing."

"Ha!" MJ said, gratified. Ned looked at Peter with large, betrayed eyes.

Laughing, Peter spoke. "I said relaxing not fun."

"Oh fuck you." Michelle said, chuckling, and Ned joined in. Really, really good.  
-x-  
The lights flickered eerily, and a soft tapping filled the hallway. Gloved hands twirled a cane, and the rest of the body stalked down the hall. The man- presumably it was a man- smacked his cane twice against one of the metal-barred cages that lined the corridor, resulting in a high pitched shriek, and the sound of someone being flung backwards. The soft tapping intensified, and the man pulled open the large door at the end of the hallway, resulting in a bright white light flooding the dark corridor. Several groans and indistinguishable shouts could be heard, and the man walked into the bright room.

After a few moments of just standing in the doorframe, the man spoke.

"So glad you could join us."  
-x-  
"Shit!" Peter cried out, as he felt himself struggle against the tight bed sheets wrapped around his small frame. He fell with a thump to the ground. "Shit!" He yelled again, voice more desperate this time. He couldn't breathe he couldn't see he couldn't think he couldn't hear he was drowning oh god help me please help help me I can't-

"-eter? Peter? Honey, wake up, it's okay!" May was looming over him, her long hair brushing his cheeks slightly. "Shh, it's alright, just breathe." She pulled him out of the tangled and sweat-soaked blankets, and held Peter against her tightly. He leant into her, and over May's shoulder, he saw Lily gripping her Black Widow plushie tightly, whilst standing in the doorframe.

"I'm good," Peter tried to say, but it came out sounding more like "Am goo," which naturally caused some concern for May.

"Lily, go back to bed babe, I'll be in with you in a minute." May said looking back at her daughter. "Do you wanna talk about it?" She asked once Lily had gone, and she brushed Peter's fringe out of his face.

"Not really, no." He muttered, standing up, only to sit back down on his bed.

"It's good to talk about these things Pete."

"I know, but I'm just… tired," he said lamely. "Really, really tired."

"Okay," May said glancing at the clock. It was three-thirty. "Get some rest, and we'll talk in the morning?"

"Erm… yeah sure, maybe."

"Remember, school starts in a week." May reminded him. "Try to get your sleep schedule under control, yeah?"

"Yeah. Thanks May."

"Larb you." She replied, kissing his forehead, and walking from the room. Peter heard her go into Lily's room, but he couldn't be bothered to listen to them. Sighing he leant against his headboard, and peered up at the loose tile in his ceiling. It wasn't like he was going to get any sleep anyway, so he got into his suit, eased open the window, and snuck out, like he had done countless times. It was so close to being fine, if only he hadn't turned when he heard the shouts. He felt a siering pain go through the upper part of his right arm, and he gasped, looking over to where he heard the shouts. It was a fucking Stag party. Turning back around, he webbed up the assailant, and pulled himself up to a nearby rooftop. Now that Peter was able to check what had happened, he looked at his arm. He had been shot, but there was no exit wound. "Shit." he muttered. This was gonna take some explaining.

None of the Avengers were asleep. They did this sometimes, just stayed up all night in each other's company. They were playing poker. "Boss," Came FRIDAY's voice, "Mr Parker is here, and appears to be in distress. Should I send him up?"

"What?" Tony asked, looking up and frowning. "Yes, send him up." After a moment, the elevator door pinged, and Peter stumbled out, clutching his arm. His face was deathly pale. "Peter!" Tony shot up and supported him so that he didn't fall down. Bruce hurried over as well.

"H-hey Mr Stark," Peter stuttered. "So I've been, er, shot."

"Yeah, no shit kid!"

"Help me get him down to the med room." Bruce ordered. Tony and Steve helped him get there, whilst Bruce went ahead to prepare his supplies. Once they settled Peter down on the bed, the other Avengers gathered outside the room looking in through the one-way glass window.

"Tony, cut off his sleeve." Bruce ordered, and Tony complied, grabbing scissors, and approaching Peter.

"No!" The kid said, backing up against the headboard, wincing as he jolted his arm.

"Why not?" Steve asked, frowning.

"I- I don't want you to see."

They all frowned, until remembering the scars that were on his arms. "Kid, it's either this or you bleed out." Tony stated.

After a moment's hesitation, Peter nodded jerkily. Tony cut the sleeve off at the shoulder, and cut down the length of it so that it could be easily removed.

The Avengers on the other side of the glass gasped at the sight of his arm. It was covered in uneven scars, some the same colour as his skin tone and raised slightly, but some that were a deep blood red, and jagged in appearance. None of these scars bothered them as much as the ones on his forearm though. Carved in shaky letters, was the word 'DIE', surrounded by smaller scratches. Tony, Steve and Bruce tried not to let their shock show, but couldn't prevent the widening of their eyes as they saw him. Bruce swallowed, and got to work patching up the wound.

"We should call his Aunt." Pepper said, taking out her phone.

"You do it, you know her best." Bucky replied, eyes drawn to the young boy.

"Yeah. I'll be back in a bit."  
-x-  
"Pepper! Is he okay?" May rushed over to her friend and grabbed her arm anxiously.

"He's fine, they removed the bullet, and Bruce managed to close the wound. He's sleeping now."

"Oh thank god." May sank down to her knees on the tiled floor. Pepper went down with her.

"Is Lily alright?" She asked, placing a hand on May's shoulder.

"Yeah, she's staying with Mrs G, the woman who lives in the flat opposite."

"You could have brought her. I'm sure Peter would have been glad to see her, and she could have stayed with Natasha and Wanda."

"Oh no," May laughed dryly. "Peter doesn't interact with Lily when he's hurt. He doesn't want to scare her by being injured."

Pepper frowned, and helped the woman up. "Come see him." She said gently.

May walked into the room, whilst everyone waited outside, still looking in. It was just her and Peter in the room. She walked up and placed a hand on his non-injured arm. "Honey," she said quietly. "Pete, can you wake up for me?" Peter's eyes fluttered open, and he jerked upwards into a sitting position, gasping at the pain that shot through his arm. "Hey, hey, hey, it's okay." May helped rearrange his pillows, and he leaned back, frowning at his Aunt.

"May?" Peter asked. "What're you doing here?"

"I came to see you. You snuck out. Again. We've talked about this, you always have to tell me where you're going."

"I know, I just… needed to get out."

"Then tell me next time."

"You wouldn't have let me go."

May hesitated. "No I wouldn't have. You had just woken up screaming and you were vulnerable-" Peter started to interrupt, but was cut off. "You were vulnerable, and you have a gunshot wound to prove it."

Peter looked away briefly, before meeting his Aunt's eyes. "But I'm fine, it ended up okay!"

"And what if it didn't?" May asked, clearly frustrated. "You need to stop taking unnecessary risks-"

"It wasn't unnecessary-!"

"Yes, damn it Peter, it was! How do you think Lily would have coped if you were in a body bag right now instead of here? How would I have coped, or Ned, or MJ, or any of them?" She gestured angrily at the window, knowing full well that they were there. "When Ben died-"

"Don't." Peter's eyes flashed coldly.

"When Ben died, do you know how hard it was for me? I had to keep it together, I had to be the sensible one, the one who couldn't grieve, because I had you and Lily to look after! And you went off, doing your own thing, being fucking stupid and screwing up your life! The things you've done will be with you forever Peter, and there's nothing you or anyone else can do to change that. I had to find you unconscious, and damn near death twice Peter, and then I had to talk you down from a fucking ledge. I was the one who dealt with the police all those times, not you. And it hurts Peter! It hurts that you are so self-destructive that you ruin everything given to you, and leave me to pick up the pieces! I know you're trying to make up for it now, I know you want to make things right, but this isn't the way. You can't help anyone if you're dead."

Peter was silent after her speech. He looked down, and traced the scars on his wrist. "I'm sorry." He said quietly. And he was. Incredibly sorry.

May sighed, and put an arm around him. "You just scared me."

"I know. I'll tell you next time."

"Thank you."  
-x-  
"That was... intense to say the least." Wanda said, pouring herself some sweet tea.

"You can say that again." Sam muttered.

"Where's May now?" Steve asked quietly.

"Asleep on a rollaway next to the kid." Tony said, wrapping an arm around Pepper's waist.

"This all got really bad, really quickly." Clint said. "Why's everything being brought up now?"

"We shouldn't have pushed it," Natasha whispered. One of her legs was draped over Clint's as they sat on the sofa. "We should have waited for him to come to us."

"He seems different now." Loki stated, even though he didn't know the child very well.

"Well we know what's happened to him. He's still the same, but we're just seeing him in a different light." Steve spoke up.

"I don't like it." Scott said.

"Me neither." Bucky commented. He leant into Steve.

There was an awkward silence that followed, until Thor announced that he and Loki should probably return to Asgard. They said their goodbyes quickly, and disappeared. One by one, all of the remaining Avengers went to bed.

Okay.

Maybe not such a good day.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a chapter innit.

x-Flashback-x  
"Peter, please, open the door! You don't have to do this! Honey please, just let me in! We can work through this, together! Just let me in… please." May slowly slid down the door, sobs finally taking over her body. "Peter…" she moaned, gasping for breath. She heard a loud crash echo from inside the teen's room, and she felt her breath hitch in her throat. "Babe, just… knock three times on the door if you're not physically hurt… so I know you're okay." Three long knocks made the door vibrate against her back.

"I'm sorry," Peter murmured. "I can't stop, I- I don't know why."  
x-Present-x  
The lights were flickering weirdly. Tony was working in his lab, when he noticed it. One moment he was trying to fix one of the blasters on his suit, and the next, the lights were flashing enough to give him a migraine. After a few seconds the lights gave out all together, meaning the only light source was the arc reactor shining through Tony's shirt. "FRIDAY, turn on the backup generators." He called out. There was no response, nor did the lights come back on. Fishing around for his phone, he turned on the flashlight. There was a brief moment when he could see everything in front of him, until there was a sudden pain on the top of his head, and Tony was engulfed in darkness.  
-x-  
"Tony!" Natasha slapped the man's face to wake him up. Hard. Tony opened his eyes groggily, and put a hand to the back of his head. It came away bloody.

"Are you alright?" Pepper asked, crouched down next to her fiancé. When he nodded, she pressed a quick kiss to his lips, before helping him stand.

"What the hell?" Tony said, looking around wildly. "Where are we?" They were all gathered in a small cell, with a glass window in front of them. Looking through it, they could see that the wall directly opposite the window was a large monitor, and there was a small table and chair in the middle of the room. Attached to the table were metal cuffs.

"No idea," Steve said. "We all woke up at different times, but so far no-one has been in."

"Where's Peter?" Tony asked, finally noticing that the boy wasn't here.

"Well he went home with May- maybe whoever took us didn't know where he was. Secret identity remember?" Clint said, leaning against the wall. That was when Tony noticed the strange collars some of them had on. Wanda, Steve, Bucky, Bruce, Vision were looking paler than usual because of them.

"Power dampeners," Bruce informed him. "Not like I'm gonna Hulk-out though."

"I guess it's just a precaution." Natasha said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Wait, wait wait, go back," Tony growled. "Peter?"

"Tones, we don't know!" Rhodey snapped. "Just settle down and let us figure it out."

After what felt like hours, the large doors that led into the room in front of them opened. "So sorry for the wait," A man wearing an expensive looking suit walked into the room carrying a briefcase. He was wearing a metal mask. He held his hands out as if to apologise. "Forgive me?"

"Who the hell are you?" Bucky hissed, clenching his fists.

"Me? My name is none of your-"

"Adrian Toomes." Tony said staring at him.

"What? No!" Pepper exclaimed, shocked. She looked between the two men. Sighing Toomes removed his mask and looked at Stark.

"Hello Tony, it's good to finally meet you."

"Where's Peter?" He asked immediately.

"Did you know I lost my daughter?"

"What?"

"Liz. My wife won't let me see Liz. It's like she's dead, she won't text, or call- she hates me."

"Not without reason." Pepper muttered.

"And what makes you think we care?" Scott asked.

"Peter Parker took everything from me!" Toomes yelled, slamming a fist on the table. Collecting his breath, he lowered the briefcase to the floor in the corner of the room.

"Where's Peter?" Tony asked again, more forcefully.

"Do you know what the worst part is? It's not that I went to prison. It's not that I lost my job all those years ago. It's not that we have a corrupt government, or the fact that I let Pedro escape. Oh no," He laughed harshly. "It's that my family is ashamed of me." Adrian's voice broke slightly. "They hate me, they don't trust me, and they are ashamed of what I have done."

There was silence after his statement. No-one knew how to respond to that. "And what does this have to do with us?" Vision asked, arm wrapped around Wanda.

"You're Peter's family." He said simply. Grabbing a small remote out of his pocket, he pointed it at the glass. "I want to make this all dramatic, you know, bring the kid in, say some supervillain spiel, then reveal that you're here. Hope you don't mind. It'll turn the room soundproof and make the glass one-way." Before the Avengers could protest, he clicked the button, and the doors opened once more.  
-x-  
Peter was being dragged down a long corridor, with strange cages lining the walls. Aside from the two guards holding each of his arms, there was another man in front of him holding a cane. From the back, he couldn't see who it was. He suddenly slammed the cane against one of the cages, making Peter flinch back, only to be shocked by the device around his neck. The unknown man opened the door, stepping back into the shadows, hiding his face once more.

"So glad you could join us." A voice spoke up. Peter looked up and fell back again, before being jerked back up.

"Toomes."

Peter was dragged into the room by two buff looking guards. "Pete!" Tony called out, before Bruce grabbed his arm.

"He can't hear us."

"So glad you could join us." The Vulture drawled, pulling out the chair in beside him.

"Toomes." The guards let go of Peter's arms, and shoved him harshly towards the man.

"Have a seat." He didn't move, so one of the guards forced him into a chair.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Language," Steve and the Vulture reprimanded at the same time. No-one laughed at Steve, which was extremely unusual for them. "I came to see you, Pete." Toomes carried on, watching as one of the guards trapped the boy's wrists in the restraints attached to the table. "You know after you ruined my life."

Peter scoffed angrily. "You ruined your own life. I was just there to make sure you got exactly what you deserved."

"Do you want to know the worst part of what happened to me?" Toomes asked. Tony opened his mouth. Surely he wouldn't- "It's not that I went to prison-" He would!

"He's using the exact same speech!" Scott laughed despite it all. "Oh my god, this is gold."

Eventually the Vulture finished speaking, and looked at Peter. " And do you want to know something else?" Peter glared in response. "I want you to feel the same shame I felt. I'm not going to kill you- probably. I'm going to show your family exactly what you are." He pulled the remote out of his jacket, and pointed it at the glass wall. With one click, Peter looked over to the once mirror and gasped.

"Hey kid." Tony said, trying to look calm.

"Enough chat," Adrian snapped. "I was only in prison for a few months, but whilst I was there, I got… a visitor." Peter's eyebrows rose. "I assume you've heard of Norman Osborn?"  
-x-  
Norman was bored. He had been told to wait outside, even though, this was his fucking plan! Why he chose Adrian Toomes out of everyone who hated Spiderman, he had no clue. When Norman finally heard his name, he picked up his cane and pushed open the large doors. "Hope you didn't start without me."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Toomes responded.

"It's nice to finally meet you Mr Parker. I've heard so much about you."

"You own Oscorp, don't you?" Peter asked, frowning.

"Yes I do. I believe you visited several years ago, but it didn't quite meet your… expectations."

"What's he talking about Peter?" Wanda asked, walking up to the glass.

"Quiet!" Toomes shouted, making the room soundproof, so they couldn't hear what the Avengers were saying. But the Avengers could hear them all right.

"I wouldn't say it was the best trip of my life." Peter replied, careful with his wording. They already knew he was Spiderman, he didn't want them to know that Osborn was the one who turned him.

"That pesky spider got to you huh?" Norman smiled, and Peter felt his heart drop. "To answer your question Miss Maximoff, Peter here visited my company when he had just turned fifteen on a school trip, only one of my… specimens escaped captivity and attacked him."

"I wouldn't say attacked." Peter muttered.

"And when he got back to the flat, I'd say he was very relieved to find his Aunt and cousin still out. He was throwing up all over the place, fever running through the roof. At least he was until his newfound powers kicked in, now wasn't that a surprise?"

"How- how did you know that I was throwing up everywhere?" Peter asked, eyes wide.

"Oh, right, yes, sorry, my bad. Toomes, if you would." The Vulture pulled the remote out once more, and pointed it at the massive monitor this time. It switched to a picture of Peter's apartment, showing May wandering around watering plants, and Lily sitting humming to herself.

"Is this live?" Peter exclaimed, heart thudding.

"Yes it is." Osborn laughed coldly. He put his face right up close to Peter's. "We've been watching you since the day you arrived at May and Ben's home. I've seen everything you've ever done there, everything you've ever said there, and-" The screen switched to showing the streets of New York. "Everywhere you have ever been in the last nine years. And we're going to show them"

Peter was shaking his head throughout everything Norman had been saying, but at his last sentence he froze, before slowly turning his head to look at his family. They were just as shocked as he was, and they were all mouthing things at him, but he didn't understand what.

"Why?" Peter finally managed to get out, looking back at the two psychopaths.

"Because they'll finally know the real you. The you that you've been trying to cover up with good grades, and a cheery personality, and witty comments. Do they know about the... issues you had when you were fourteen?" Peter didn't respond. "Thought not."

"You don't have to do this, please don't I'll do anything, just don't show them-"

"Too late!" Toomes interjected. "You gave up your chance for keeping this a secret when you left my daughter at the dance. You know. To fucking get me arrested."

"Now then," Norman said, perching on the end of the desk Peter was sitting at. "Where should we begin?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I'd completely forgotten that I had the next two chapters uploaded on fanfiction.net, and just assumed that this one was up to date. Sorry for the confusion kiddos, but hey, two new chapters after like 3 months isn't too bad right? Right?

**Five Years Ago:**

Peter walked into the bathroom, and closed the door behind him. This was not a good day. Not at all. Breathing heavily, he pressed his ear against the wall, trying to listen to May hushing Lily. He heard muffled sobs from his cousin’s room, and he felt his heart break slightly. The police had just left after delivering Peter home. From the police station. Where he was brought after Ben was shot.

Peter staggered away from the wall, and gripped the edge of the sink, bending his head over it. A sob escaped his mouth and memories of watching his Uncle get shot through the heart just a hour ago flooded his mind. Suddenly Peter retched, and fell onto the toilet, and began gagging into the bowl. Only a bit of sick came out, which he was grateful for. He already felt bad enough. Wiping his mouth, he leant back over the sink, and splashed some water in his face.

“Peter?” He heard May knock on the door. “Are you alright honey?” Her voice was strained.

He swallowed. “Yeah I’m okay.”

“Can I come in?”

“I-I just need a bit of time.”

“Okay. Come talk in the morning?”

“I will.” He heard My walk away. Sighing, he put his head in his hands and felt a few tears slide down his cheeks. He felt his heart rate speed up, and his breathing got faster. Peter whimpered quietly and he began to scratch at his throat, needing release. Opening the cupboard disguised as a mirror above the sink, he scrambled around, trying to find what he was looking for. Peter finally pulled out the box of May’s razorblades. Trying to open it with shaky hands, he pulled one out and stood still for several minutes, but staring at it. All too quickly, he yanked up his sleeve, almost tearing it, and harshly dragged it across his arm. Audibly gasping, Peter squeezed his eyes shut as blood trickled down his arm, before repeating the previous action several times. Everytime the blade broke the skin, and blood squeezed out, he finally felt the release he was looking for, at least temporarily. Hands still shaking, he washed the razorblade and his hands, before returning the box to the cupboard. Peter wrapped some toilet paper around his arm, before pulling his sleeve down, and he walked into his bedroom, grateful that May had already gone into  _ her  _ room. He didn’t want her to see the tears in his eyes and on his cheeks, or the blood that he hadn’t yet managed to scrub out of his cuticles.

 

**Present Day:**

Everyone was silent. Peter looked down at his hands, trying to forget the video they had just watched. “Well,” Toomes finally said. “Eleven year old you really was a mess, huh?”

“Peter…” Natasha said quietly. Toomes had turned off the soundproof function. The kid didn’t look at anyone, just picked at the skin on his hands anxiously.

“You’re pathetic, you know that?” Osborn put his head mere inches from the kid’s. “You don’t know how to deal with your problems, so you cover it up with humour and sarcasm, kinda like Stark over there.” He jabbed a finger over his shoulder to point it at Tony. “Little did you know, that because you shroud your feelings and refuse to talk about things, we can use this against you to  _ break _ -” He was cut off in the middle of his monologue by Peter slamming his skull into the other man’s, with a sickening crack. They both groaned but whilst Osborn merely rubbed his head, Toomes activated the shocker in Peter’s collar. He tensed, and gritted his teeth as electricity coursed through him. Norman grabbed him by the neck of his shirt, and dragged him forward, so close to him that as he spoke, spittle sprayed in the teen’s face. “ _ You little shit _ !” He growled, thrusting Peter against the chair. He walked around the room, trying to collect himself, whilst Adrian held the remote threateningly in the air. Osborn indicated for him to put it away and he complied, a disappointed look crossing his face. “Play the next video.”

 

**Five Years Ago:**

“Lily, please stop crying!” Peter was begging, whilst bouncing the nearly two-year-old in his arms. “Shh, please. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little star…” He tried singing several nursery rhymes, which only seemed to make her cry more. Placing her in the duct-taped wooden crib, he rummaged around in the fridge and cupboards, looking for something, anything to soothe her. “You’re hungry right? That’s the only thing I haven’t tried, feeding you.” Swearing under his breath, he slammed a hand down on the counter in frustration, making her scream even louder. “Shit, I mean-  _ fuck _ \- I’m sorry!” Pulling a stool over to the cupboard, he grabbed a tin of baked beans that was right at the back. Checking the expiration date, he swore again, as it had expired three months ago. Thinking it might not be too bad, he looked around for a can opener, only to not find one. Placing a hand on his head, he looked around, eyes landing on a potted plant in the corner with several stones sitting on the soil. Peter rushed over, and apologising in advance to Lily, he slammed the rock repeatedly over the lid of the tin. The lid popped off, and a few of the beans slid out. Lily’s cries grew desperate. Wiping off some white fluff on top, Peter poured them into a small saucepan. Several of them were grouping together, so he did his best to separate them. When Lily started coughing madly, as well as screaming in between, Peter rushed over to hold her.

“MAKE THAT BABY SHUT THE FUCK UP!” A man suddenly screamed, banging on the wall angrily. Lily cried louder, and Peter placed a hand over her mouth trying to muffle her screams.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, it’s okay…” He tried to placate her. “May will be back in a couple of hours, it’ll be fine…”

Peter didn’t notice the smoke rising from the pan until the fire alarm went off, causing him to nearly drop Lily. He deposited her back in the crib, and took the pan off the stove, before throwing the rock at the smoke alarm. It fell to the ground, and broke in half, wires going everywhere. “Shit.” Deciding to ignore it for now, he tried one of the blackened beans, retching as their foul taste met his mouth. There was no way he could give this to Lily. Picking up the baby, he carried her into his room, and placed her on his bed. “I’ll be back in five minutes, I promise,” She looked at him wistfully. “Just try to be quiet.” Putting on an oversized hoodie, he left the apartment, and walked over to the corner shop just a block away. Trying to act casually, he walked over to the baby food aisle, swearing when he saw that they didn’t have the only kind Lily would eat. Thinking quickly, he grabbed a packet of raspberries, a pint of milk, some eggs and a loaf of bread. Stuffing what he could in his pockets, he hurried out the store, ignoring the shouts behind him. Peter sprinted back to the flat, and when he finally got back inside, he immediately went to pick up Lily. There was snot and tears all over her face, and she was snuffling sadly. Putting her back in the crib, he mashed up some of the raspberries and mixed it with the milk, before spoon feeding it to her, ignoring the pains in his own stomach. Eventually, Lily fell asleep, and Peter laid her down weakly. Sighing, he picked up the smoke detector, and began repairing it. When May finally walked in, she saw Peter passed out on the rug, with Lily slumbering peacefully above him.

 

**Present Day:**

It surprised Tony to see Peter so vulnerable. Even when Peter was upset, or terrified, he always had this spark, that set him apart. It gave him the strength to stand up for himself and others, and yet he had a shield, protecting him from getting hurt. That shield was in pieces now.

He wanted to reassure Peter, to tell him that he did what he had to do to survive, but he didn’t know how to tell him, so Tony stayed silent. Instead, Steve was the one who said it, and Peter looked at them for the first time. He was properly broken in the moment all their eyes met.

“No I didn’t,” he replied to Steve’s reassurances. “I was selfish.” He didn’t answer their prompts to tell them more, to explain what he meant. 

“Trust me, you’ll understand in a while.” Toomes said, slapping the teenager on the back. He stared blankly at the desk in front of him.

“Do you know what I think would be fun?” Osborn asked, walking over to Adrian.

“What?” The Vulture asked.

“All of the videos of this young man trying to end his life, back to back.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Clint asked, banging his fists on the glass. Peter didn’t even look up at the sudden noise.

“Mr Barton, please, calm yourself.”

“Calm myself?” He pretty much screamed. “You’re the one who’s fucki-”

“STOP!” Peter yelled, looking around at everyone, before staring down Norman. “You don’t need to do this.”

“Oh? And why’s that?”

“You just… can’t. Please.”

“Tell you what, I won’t show it…” Peter’s heart leapt. “If you slice open your own skin with this.” Toomes placed a razor blade in front of him. “And I think we both know-” Peter and Norman’s eyes met. “That if you start, you won’t be able to stop.”

“This is fucked up.” Tony said, joining Clint at the glass. “FUCKED UP!”

“Well Mr Parker?” Osborn asked. Peter looked down at the blade, and all the Avengers felt their breath catch in their throats. He shook his head, and pushed himself back in his chair. “Very well. Play the videos,” He smiled grimly. “All of them.”

 

**Four Years Ago:**

Peter stumbled into the bathroom, and without hesitating, grabbed a bottle of pills out of the cupboard. Choking down a sob, he rushed into his bedroom, and flung himself on the bed. Gasping, Peter pulled the lid off, and poured a load of the small, white pills into his hand. He stared down at them for a while, before tipping them all into his mouth. He swallowed some water with them, visibly gagging, lay down on his bed, and closed his eyes.

May walked in not long after. “Peter, honey?” She knocked on his door, and when there was no answer, she knocked again. “Peter?” May opened the door, and recoiled at the sight of him, water spilt all over the bed, several pills still in his hand. "No, no, no, no…" She pulled out her mobile phone, and dialed 911.

There was no light in Peter's eyes. He slowly walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Movements sudden, almost robotic, he opened the cupboard, and pulled out the razors. He was mildly surprised that May hadn’t hidden them from him.

Peter pulled one out, and breathed heavily. The faster he did it, the faster it would be over. He sat down against the wall, and slowly dragged the blade up the insides of his wrists, gasping as pain flooded his senses. He was barely conscious as paramedics burst into the room.

**Two Years Ago:**

"Peter, please we can talk about this!” May was standing a few feet away from Peter, as he stood on the edge of their apartment building. “Just come down, and we can work this out, together.”

“I can’t,” Peter said through gritted teeth. “It’s too much, I can’t control it, I can- I can’t d-do it.”

“Yes, honey, you can. Just come back inside.”

“NO!” May stood, shocked, as she watched her nephew break down in front of her. “I’m a fucking mess, I can’t  _ do this anymore _ !”

“Try. Try to do it. I’ll be right there the entire time, just come back inside. You’ve been standing there for over an hour babe, come on.” Tears were streaming down May’s face. Slowly, Peter turned around, and stepped towards his Aunt, who was waiting with outstretched arms.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yo, look at me updating

“Babe!” May’s voice called out, and she stuck her head into his room. “Come on, get up and get ready, or you’ll be late.” Peter groaned, and tried to pull his bedsheets over his head. May moved over, and pulled them off him entirely.

“Aunt May!” Peter complained, sticking his head under his pillow. May pulled that out as well.

“Come on Pete, you’ve got to hand in your photography coursework today!” When her nephew didn’t move, she shoved him lightly. “You have to go to school honey.”

“Or I could not.” May laughed.

“Go have a shower and get dressed, you reek.”

“Love you too.” When May finally left, Peter realised that there was no chance of falling back asleep. Sighing, he grabbed a towel and some clothes, and made his way to the bathroom. He turned the shower on and stripped down, before getting under the water. As soon as he got him, he froze, the cold water bringing back unpleasant memories of being dropped in the lake by the Vulture. Forcing himself to stay in the present, he turned the heating up, and enjoyed the rest of his shower in contentment.

Walking back to his room, he paused outside the door. Something was wrong; his Spidey Sense was tingling awkwardly. After debating whether the threat was lethal or not, he slowly pushed open his door, and froze at the sight in front of him. Everything he owned was covered with water. His bed, his walls, his open closet, his desk- his desk! Peter sprinted over, and picked up the photography portfolio he had been working on for months. The thin paper immediately tore and fell to the ground. All of the carefully taken photos had fallen out, and the ink was running badly on all of them, making the pictures blurry messes. The writing he had spent hours perfecting, written in May’s fanciest pen, was unintelligible. Hearing a soft chuckle from behind him, he turned to see Lily grinning, holding a water gun that was practically bigger than she was.

“Pranked you!” She yelled, and Peter stared at her, a few tears dripping down his face. Lily frowned, obviously confused. “Why are you crying? It was funny!”

“What’s going on?” May’s voice called out, and she walked in, holding a tea towel in her hands. Looking at the mess in front of her, she gasped, and her eyes fell on Peter’s ruined portfolio. “Oh my god.” She walked over to Peter, and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hun…”

“I’m fucked.” Peter said, staring at the sodden paper in his hands, not caring about the repercussions of swearing in front of his cousin. “I am well and truly fucked.

"He said a bad word, he said a bad word, he said-"

"Lily!" May reprimanded harshly. Upon seeing the young girl's quivering lip, and teary eyes, she sighed, and ran a hand over her face. "Go wait in the lounge." As Lily walked out, May turned back to Peter. "Honey, I-" she paused. "I need to go to work, and drop your cousin off at school."

"Okay." Peter whispered, still crying.

"Petey..." May put a hand on his shoulder, and forced him to face her. She pressed the tea towel into his hands. "I'm so sorry. It'll be okay."

"Yeah."

May swiftly kissed his forehead, and walked out, taking a last lingering glance at the mess behind her. "I'll be back around eight. We can put Lily to bed, and have a movie night if you want?"

"Sure."

“Hey,” May tilted his head up. “Bit more enthusiasm?”

“That sounds great Aunt May. Truly.” Peter gave her a watery smile.

Kissing her nephews forehead, she smiled at him. “Atta boy. See you tonight.”

And with that, she walked out of the small room, leaving Peter to listen to the small click of the apartment’s front door closing behind her. Sighing, Peter did his best to clean up his room before he had to leave for school. Remembering a few polaroid photos he had under his bed, he sprinted over and pulled out the tattered box. Mentally praying that they would be intact, he opened the box, and let out a pleased gasp. They were all okay. Pulling out a handful without really looking at them, he shoved the old polaroids into his (dry) bag, planning to write out a couple of sentences for each of them at recess. He knew it wasn’t going to be good enough to get any decent grade, but he couldn’t not and anything in. Mr Ford would kill him.

Peter grabbed an apple, put his earphones in and walked out of his apartment. His train left in twenty minutes. Pausing just before he reached the staircase out of the tower block, he shook his head, and started jogging back to the apartment. Pushing open the door, he rushed into the bathroom and pulled out a bottle of Ativan. It wouldn’t do much what with his metabolism, but it’d help in the long run. And, who knows, maybe it would have a bit of a placebo effect on him. Either way, he took a pill, and swallowed it, shoving the bottle in his backpack.

\---

“Dude,” Ned said excitedly, as he saw his friend approach him at recess that day. “Have you seen it?”

“Seen what?” Peter sat down opposite Ned and MJ, Harry Osborn sitting next to him.

“The Daily Bugle released a new article on Spider-Man.” Harry said, leaning back in his chair.

“Oh. That’s it?” Peter pulled out the loose polaroids and some paper out of his bag. “Can I borrow a pen?” He asked MJ. She handed one over without looking up from her book.

“What do you mean ‘that’s it’? Don’t you want to know what they said?” Ned asked incredulously.

“Not particularly. They’re all dickheads.”

“True. But this article’s interesting, and you know that if I’m saying that it’s true.” Harry picked up one of Peter’s polaroids. “What’re you doing?”

“Lily fucked up my photography portfolio. I’m trying to get something together before next period.” Peter wrote out a title on his paper.

“What? But you spent months on that!” MJ put down her book and stared at Peter.

“Yeah.”

“Did… did you look at these photos before you brought them?” Ned asked, gingerly picking up one.

“No, I didn’t have time, why?” He looked over to the one Harry was holding. “Fuck. No, no,  _ no _ !” Peter grabbed a handful of the pictures and shuffled through them, anxiously checking them all. “ _ Fuck!”  _ They were shitty photos of him and his friends from last few months. He dropped the photos back on the table. “I must have grabbed the wrong box.” He whispered. He felt tears begin to form in his eyes, and he blinked angrily.

“It’s fine. You can just explain to Ford that your cousin ruined your portfolio. He’ll understand.” Ned said. They all knew he was wrong.

“I’m just gonna go.” Peter pushed everything back into his bag, and swung it onto his back.

“You can’t just leave.” MJ said. She glared at Peter disapprovingly.

“Yeah, man, you’ve been in enough trouble these last few years as it it. You get like a dozen detentions a day. You’ll be suspended if you bunk off now.” Harry tugged on his sleeve.

“I won’t be bunking off. Tell Ford that I’m sick.”

“None of us are in your class!” Harry argued.

“Then tell someone who is, Haz!” Peter snapped, and he left his friends gaping at his sudden change in demeanor.

Peter immediately regretted his outburst, and he was too distracted as he jumped the school gate to acknowledge his Spidey Sense going off. He barely felt the taser attacking his back , and he realised his whole body had gone numb. He was being thrown into the back seat of a car, and there was nothing he could do about it. No point in resisting. That was what he had always been taught.

 

_ Don’t resist. _


End file.
